Marriage is a great institution, and it's time to welcome the institution's two newest admissions - Liza with a 'z', and David with a..... well, David with a Judy Garland collection actually.
The following is a selection of (supposedly) humorous articles written in the spring of 2002 as part of my bid to become a nationally recognised newspaper columnist. Like the London Olympics, it was a bid doomed to failure from the start...
I wrote this for the 'Writer Online Satirical News Contest', which challenged writers to come up with a spoof headline, add approximately 200 words of copy, and thereby create a satirical news story.
Fortunately I'm not too modest to admit that I was awarded first place, along with a cash prize of $25. And people say it's hard to make a living from writing.
In February 2007 I started writing for The Kemptown Rag, a local magazine delivered every fortnight to more than 7,000 homes and businesses in the Kemp Town area of Brighton (some of whom actually read it).
The Argus revamped their website in July 2008 to give readers "clearer navigation and loads more content". Which basically meant deleting all thirty of my articles. I'm trying not to take it personally.
I'm currently in the process of adding them all to this site, but it could take me a while. Scroll down to see how far I've got.
Between July 2007 and March 2008, I wrote a total of thirty articles for the Brighton Argus. In the name of progress, those articles were deleted from the Argus website in July 2008. Fortunately there's no such thing as progress on this site...
