Creep-pea and Black-Eyed Pea walked down the hill from Creepy Castle. Black-Eyed Pea was carrying a spade, and Creep-pea clutched a metal detector. He turned to his friend. "This could make me - er, us - rich, you know." said Creep-pea, pointing to the metal detector. "All we have to do is find some buried treasure and we'll be the richest peas in Poddington." They walked excitedly down to the Creepy Carrot Patch. "Right," said Creep-pea, "this should be a good place to start." He turned on the metal detector and started sweeping it backwards and forwards across the ground. Very quickly it began to bleep. "I've found something!" cried Creep-pea. He looked down, and there, under the metal detector, was Black-Eyed Pea's spade. "What's that doing there?" said Creep-pea, angrily. "Oh sorry," said Black-Eyed Pea, picking up the spade, "it was getting a bit heavy." Grumbling to himself, Creep-pea turned around and began to search again. Suddenly the metal detector bleeped. "I've done it!" shouted Creep-pea, "I've found treasure! Quick, start digging!" Black-Eyed Pea positioned the spade and began to dig. Nearby, Hap-pea and Sweet Pea were going for an afternoon stroll, when they noticed Creep-pea and Black-Eyed Pea in the Creepy Carrot Patch. "Oh, look," said Sweet Pea, "they've got a metal detector. I've always wanted to have a go on one of those." She and Hap-pea walked over to the Creepy Carrot Patch. "Oy, what do you two think you're doing?" shouted Creep-pea. "We were just wondering if you needed any help." said Hap-pea. "We'd love to try out your metal detector." "Well you can't!" said Creep-pea. "You're just after our treasure. We don't need any help, so go away!" Hap-pea and Sweet Pea turned and left. "We should have known better than to offer to help those two." said Sweet Pea. By this time Black-Eyed Pea's digging had uncovered an old brown sack, and with one big effort he pulled it out of the hole. By now, Creep-pea was overcome with excitement. "I knew it!" he cried, "It must be a bag of gold coins! I'm - er, we're - rich!" Black-Eyed Pea untied the sack and tipped it upside down. Much to their surprise it wasn't gold coins that fell out of the sack, but lots of little bottles with metal tops. "Huh." muttered Creep-pea. "What use are bottles?" "Wait a moment," said Black-Eyed Pea, examining their find, "There's something written on them." He looked very closely at one of the bottles, and read aloud the words "Magic Potion. Property of Merlin the Wizard." He looked up at Creep-pea. "Wow, they're magic potions! Let's try them." "There's no such thing as magic." said Creep-pea. "I'm not going to drink any of them." He turned and walked off with the metal detector. Black-Eyed Pea, however, was not put off. He picked up one of the bottles, unscrewed the lid, and gulped down the liquid inside. "Mmm, strawberry!" he cried. "Strawberry?" said Creep-pea, rushing back. "I love strawberry!" He quickly grabbed one of the bottles and drank the potion. "Ugh!" he said, pulling a face, "That was peppermint." Suddenly Creep-pea stared at Black-Eyed Pea, who was starting to turn a definite shade of red. Creep-pea began to laugh, as Black-Eyed Pea turned the colour of a strawberry! Creep-pea stopped laughing however when he looked down and saw himself changing colour. "Oh no!" he shouted, "Why did you make me drink that magic potion?! Look at me!" Creep-pea had turned white all over. "I thought you didn't believe in magic?" said Black-Eyed Pea. "This is no time to argue!" shouted Creep-pea. "There must be an antidote in one of these bottles, so get looking!" Both peas started picking up bottle after bottle and gulping down the contents as quickly as they could. "I don't think there is an antidote." said Black-Eyed Pea, now covered from head to toe in blue and yellow stripes. "Wait!" said Creep-pea, "Nothing's happening to me! I think I'm cured!" As he spoke, a white beard started to form on his face, and grew longer and longer with every second. "Er, Creep-pea..." said Black-Eyed Pea, but Creep-pea didn't listen. By now the beard had reached the ground. "Yes, I'm alright!" shouted Creep-pea triumphantly, as he walked forward, tripped over his beard, and fell flat flat on his face. "Stupid magic potions." he said, as he picked himself up. He walked over to the pile of bottles, picked one up, and threw it angrily into the middle of the Creepy Carrot Patch, where it broke, spilling the contents into the ground. Within seconds, all the carrots had turned purple. "I'm not touching any more of those bottles." said Creep-pea. "They've caused enough trouble for one day." As he said those words, he started to feel funny, and suddenly began floating into the air. "He-elp!!" he cried, as he drifted upwards. Black-Eyed Pea rushed over and quickly grabbed hold of Creep-pea's long white beard. "Don't worry Creep-pea," he said, "I'll get help." Black-Eyed Pea ran out of the Creepy Carrot Patch and down the lane into Poddington, pulling Creep-pea behind him like a kite. It wasn't long before he met Hap-pea and Sweet Pea, who couldn't believe their eyes at the sight before them. "Hap-pea! Sweet Pea!" cried Black-Eyed Pea. "We drank some magic potions, and now look at us! You must help us!" "Just get me down!" came Creep-pea's voice from above. Hap-pea and Sweet Pea smiled. "I thought you said you didn't need any help." said Hap-pea. "You told us to go away." added Sweet Pea, smiling to herself. Creep-pea didn't know what to say. "Er, well..." he stammered. "We didn't mean it. We just didn't want you to get muddy. Please help us." He tried unsuccesfully to smile. Hap-pea and Sweet Pea looked at eachother. "Alright then," said Hap-pea, "but don't expect us to help you next time. You don't deserve any help at all. We'll take you to G-pea. He'll know what to do." Hap-pea and Sweet Pea led them to the doctor's house. Black-Eyed Pea went inside, hitting Creep-pea's head on the door frame, and told G-pea the whole story. After some thought, the doctor spoke. "I've heard of magic potions like this before," he said, "but never have I seen the effects of them. Fortunately there is a cure, and I happen to have it here." "Well quickly, what is it?" shouted Creep-pea. G-pea went over to his cupboard. "The only cure is a daily dose of brussel sprouts and semolina!" he said. "And I think you should have your first dose right now." He pulled Creep-pea down by his beard, which he then tied to a chair, and put two big bowls on the table, one full of brussel sprouts, the other semolina. Creep-pea and Black-Eyed Pea hated them both, but it was better than staying the way they were. "You're not leaving til you've eaten the lot." said G-Pea, and the two unfortunate peas had to stay and eat it all up, much to the amusement of Hap-pea and Sweet Pea! |
April 1992 - The Poddington Peas Creep-pea's Metal Detector by Phil Gardner |
©
Phil Gardner 2002/3. |
