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Writing
2002-9 by Phil Gardner. All my work is original and copyrighted, so please don't take advantage of my marshmallowy nature and steal it. I've read a few John Grisham novels in my time, so I know the law backwards and I WILL sue. And if I knew the law FORWARDS that would really mean something. But do be aware that the content of this site is registered with ProtectRite. Of course, if you fancy PAYING for the right to reproduce my work, that's fine, although you run the risk of me falling in love with you for all eternity. If you can cope with that, then e-mail me with an offer.
I like to think that when Al Gore invented the internet, this is the kind of site he had in mind. Informed debate, sophisticated word play, challenging essays and insightful, original viewpoints - all these concepts have been carefully considered, then rejected in favour of the blend of mindless pap you see before you. I've chosen to take the pith out of this website. So read on, read like the wind, but above all, send me money.
Mulled Whines
Ever fancied reading the uneventful and often incoherent online diary of a total stranger..?
No, me neither. Which kinda makes me wonder why I created this blog. But I did. And what's more, it's updated far more regularly than this website. So click HERE to read it. Or don't.
The choice is yours.
Good question. Cambridge graduate, Whitbread nominee, Hollywood scriptwriter and author of more than half a dozen acclaimed novels, Phil Gardner is none of these.
But he does have all his own teeth, and he'll go anywhere on a bus. For the time being he lives in Brighton on the south coast of England, worryingly close to Patsy Palmer, and consoles himself with the fact that he's survived thirteen years longer than Buddy Holly.
Due to the double-whammy of working for the NHS and having a baby, I now update this website approximately once every other blue moon. So consider this site a time capsule of my life circa 2004, and head over to my blog instead for the latest childcare tips and ophthalmology advice. You can find it by clicking here.